~Think~

After carefully writing my blog post last night, I somehow accidentally deleted it this morning and can't figure out a way to get it back :( So here is my attempt at re-creating that post.

After a coffee date with a girlfriend with my little monkey running around and her little one smiling away at me, I thought about how human I really am.  Throughout the day I was pummelled with these phrases:

I am the type of person who has a lot of great ideas, but often have a hard time following through especially when it comes to making healthier changes in my lifestyle.  I am full of excuses, but really when it comes down to it, it's out of pure laziness.  Ok, maybe some of it is fear of succeeding or disbelief that I can actually succeed.  More often than not, if I am not 100% confident in my success, I fall over and over again.  Even if there is only a measly 1% of doubt in there.  Why is this?  Oh right!  It's because I'm human!  I really wish it wasn't so difficult to aline my thoughts with my actions.  I am raising a beautiful little boy and I want to be the best example I can for him in living a healthful lifestyle in all aspects of my life.  

This post is not just about eating, or exercise…it's about everything we do on a daily basis.  I myself strive to be this "ideal" person I have in my head, living a healthful and active life.  But I get caught up in all these rules I set out for myself.  How do we change this mind set?  First of all let's remember that we are all human.  We are not perfect and we will screw up from time to time.  Second, don't let the notion of humanity be an excuse for not trying!  Use those trip-ups to make a better life!  Third…let's throw out the rule book ok?!  Stop having so many rules about everything.  

Here is the only rule worth keeping:

How about we start thinking before we speak or do, thinking about what we are putting into our bodies, thinking about how our bodies move and what our bodies can and will do, thinking about the images and sounds we are allowing into our minds.  Let's just think.  No more complicated plans to change our lives for the better.  Think about our actions and their consequences.  It's important to be honest and careful with the things we tell our children and ourselves.  

Today I am telling you all that I am throwing out my rule book, and I am starting to think more.  Before everything I do or say.  I am also going to tell you that I am human and I WILL mess up.  I am going to try my hardest to remember to get up when I fall and just think.  Thinking…sounds easy, but it's harder than you think!

Dating Mama

So this seems to be the subject that interests people the most.  Yes, my financial post was interesting and inspiring ;) but what everyone really wants to hear about is how to date as a single mom.

When I first starting writing this post, I wanted to share my story, but reading over it, realized that it was long and boring, and really what I want to share about dating as a single mom has little to do with my history.  The only thing that's really relevant is that growing up I always wanted that fairy-tale ending.

I've always had preconceived ideas about relationships, and even knowing that the fairytale ending wasn't reality, I still wanted to get married, and have another baby.  Recently I've realized that having those expectations are difficult on a new relationship. Dating as a single mom is hard enough already without adding preconceived expectations.  

Since becoming a single mama I have dated a few people, all with very different experiences.  Until recently dating for me was always about reaching a goal at the end: Getting married and having (more) kids.  Lately I've been seeing that looking too far into the future can sometimes be damaging on an otherwise happy, healthy and fulfilling relationship.  When I became a single mom I slowly started to challenge everything I ever thought about life and love.  I never pictured myself as a single mom (although I always wanted a baby with or without someone else).  I always pictured myself marrying young and staying home with the kids.  Life has a funny way of challenging us hey? 

So what exactly am I talking about?  I'm wondering how many of you let your expectations get in the way of your own happiness in the moment.  I know 100% that this is what I was doing for a very long time.  Always thinking about the future and finding it hard to be content in the here and now.  Of course we are all human, and thinking about the future does cross my mind from time to time, but thinking about right now gives me so much more freedom to enjoy it!  I've been seeing single dad R for a few months now, and couldn't imagine being happier in the moment.  We never take for granted the time that we get to spend together and rarely talk about anything too far in the future.  The farthest we get is the next time we will see each other.  Dating R I realized that I am happy right now and don't NEED anything like marriage or more kids.  I just want HIM…NOW!  How's that for honesty?

Financial Mama

Today is the first time in…hmmm…a long time that I have taken time for an "Artist Date".  I was a little nervous about spending time on my own, but then I remembered how much I crave creative time.  As I sit at this lively little coffee shop, I am able to freely write without interruption! It feels incredible to be able to write during the day when I'm not exhausted!   People are buzzing over their coffee, soaking in the short sun bursts and visiting with friends.  I love people watching! 

For some of you, reading a blog post about money seems boring, or even annoying, but if you are at all interested this post may inspire you :)

In the fall of 2010 I moved from the big city life of Chicago to the small mountain town life of the West Kootenays.  Not only was I homesick for the mountains, but was nearly drowning from debt in the city.  Most of this was my fault: I love eating out and working at a restaurant the last thing I wanted to do when I got home was cook for myself.  Eating out was just easier.  I also had an unconscious need for an "ideal" apartment…not too big, not too small, good neighbourhood etc.  I was living beyond my means.  Racking up credit card debt and even borrowing money from my parents.  Near the end of my time in Chicago I moved from a studio apartment into a one bedroom that was way out of my price range.  I had signed the lease thinking I was moving in with my boyfriend, but alas things change so quickly.  My parents were able to help me with rent for the few months I stayed until I decided it was about time I moved home.  They offered me their basement to help me get back on my feet and I was uber grateful.

When I moved back, I gave up my credit cards.  No more spending money I didn't have.  A few months later after finding out I was pregnant, I looked into consolidating my debt in order to pay less interest.  I looked into the interest I was paying on my student line of credit, and it was fairly low, so I only asked for a personal loan to cover my credit card debt.  This was a HUGE step in my financial journey.  I knew that having a baby on my own was going to be hard enough without paying almost $900 a month towards my debt.  With the consolidation I got my monthly payments down to about $500 over 6 years.  

I've always been good at writing out budgets.  I've made dozens of them over the years.  The problem was I never knew how to really live out my budget.  I was always guessing my income, and drawing up a hypothetical budget based on those estimations.  Over the past year or so it's become very important to me to become more independent and get a place of my own.  My parents are the most supportive and loving people I could ever ask for, and at the end of the day I love them.  Lately I have been feeling like I am taking advantage of them, and really want to know what it would be like to be on my own with my son.  

In December I was at a play date with a couple other moms, and we were talking about money and all those wonderful things parents talk about.  One of the women J mentioned this program called "You Need A Budget", and said that although they had just recently started the budgeting system, it had already had a HUGE impact on their life.  I was inspired, and went home to check it out.  When I looked into it I saw that it cost $60, which, as someone with not a whole lot of income is kind of a big deal.  I was worried about wasting my money on something I wouldn't follow through with.  This is where my true colours come out.  I guess I didn't really believe I could do it.  Instead I made a new years resolution to keep track of my spending.  The first 2 weeks of January was great!  I had a journal I entered all my receipts into and was feeling pretty proud of myself.  Nearing the end of the month I noticed receipts started piling up in my wallet, and once that happened I got overwhelmed and decided to give up.  Who was I kidding?  This wasn't for me!  

Last month I was talking with my lover R about budgeting and how much I wanted to be in a place to live on my own.  He was hesitant at first, but offered to tell me his story.  It was inspiring to say the least.  And guess what program he used to get out of debt?  You guessed it!  "You Need A Budget"!  Now I have 2 people in my life that have had success stories because of this system, so…I went home and bought it.  Yep, just like that.  The funny thing, was that when I told R he surprised me by saying he had just bought me a gift certificate for the software!  What a fabulous gift!  YNAB issued me a refund and I was on my way.  I was so excited!

The way that YNAB works, you input all the money you have to start with, and you assign every cent a job.  This program is designed to work with your real life income and spending.  So when I started, it was mid-way through the month.  I entered my starting checking account balance and starting plunking in numbers.  I was under the impression that budgeting would make me feel like I had less money.  I was pleasantly surprised to find that I actually felt like I had MORE money!  Somehow I found an extra $500 to put down on my student loan…ON MY FIRST MONTH OF BUDGETING!  YNAB has this nifty app for your iPhone or Android so that each time you go to spend something, you can check that category to see if you have money to spend, and then once anything is purchased you just pop it right in your phone.  This is great for me.  No need to keep receipts anymore!

For those of you who don't know me personally, I work at a coffee shop, 4 days a week.  I don't make a lot.  I do have extra income once and a while from teaching Musical Theatre and Dance, but for the most part, my income is low.  I am well under the poverty line.  So being able to spare $500 was a BIG deal, and something I did NOT think was possible.  

R recommended reading some material from Dave Ramsey, and what a difference that made.  You can have a budget, but if you don't have an action plan to pay off your debt, you won't get very far.  Dave Ramsey has 7 Simple Steps:

Step 1: Save $1000 for your Emergency Fund

Step 2: Pay off Debt (This is the hardest and most time consuming step)

Step 3: 3-6 month fund (save 3-6 months worth of income and put it away for safe keeping--you never know when you may be out of work)

Step 4: Invest (I'm working on learning about this)

Step 5: College (Start putting money away for your child(ren)'s education)--I've already started this step

Step 6: Pay off House (buy a house!)

Step 7: GIVE

These 7 steps potentially will get anyone to a place of financial freedom.  I'm not looking to be rich, I'm just looking to feel comfortable about where I am financially.  No debt, able to do the things I want, but still living frugally.  Last week I sat down to crunch some numbers.  Its only an estimation, as I don't know how to correctly calculate the amount of interest I pay on my student line of credit, BUT if I continue to find at least $300 extra a month to put towards my debt, I will be completely debt free in 17 months!  This is an incredible feeling.  Having an action plan is key.  

Dave Ramsey has a concept he calls the Debt Snowball.  Basically you work to pay off your smallest debt first, making only the minimum payment on your larger debts, and putting any extra money available on the smallest one.  Once your smallest debt is paid off, all the money you were putting onto that one will be added onto your next smallest debt, and so on and so forth.  It's a fascinating concept, and it actually works!  Here's my action plan (Numbers are not exact, but this is my example):

I have 2 debts (which really when you think about it is not nearly as bad as it could be): my Student Line of Credit, and my Personal Loan.  Every month I pay $275 on my SLC and $235 on my PL.  If I pay an extra $300 every month on my SLC it will be paid off in 11 months instead of the estimated 2-3 years.  After my SLC is paid off, that $575 will be added onto my PL making my monthly payment about $810.  This is when I will really feel the snowball affect.  My PL will then be payed off in just 6 months after that!  Holy CRAP!  After I am debt free, I am able to start putting that $810 a month away for my 3-6 month fund and a move-out fund.  Now, instead of moving out in 3 years and just barely making it by, I'll be able to move out and be financially secure!  How awesome is that?

Not only does this stuff now get me excited, but it's something I want to share with everyone and anyone who is seeking financial freedom.  In order to truly be successful, you need to be completely ready for this huge change.  But if you are…it's one of the best things you can do for yourself!  

Thanks so much to J and R for helping me on my journey towards financial freedom!  WOO HOO!

30-Day Shred Starts Tomorrow!

Tomorrow I start my new routine and that includes exercising every day.  I have decided to do Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred to get me started!  Here's a guide for what to do when that I got from here.

So as you can see there are 3 different levels of the workout, but there is only Level One available on YouTube.  If you want the extra challenge she has some DVD's available off her website.

Let me know if you are joining so we can support eachother!

New Beginnings

I am horrified and appalled that I have not written anything since August.  Things are about to change!  I am challenging myself to start a healthful routine to give my son and me the best life possible.  Taking it one day at a time, living in the moment, but also establishing routine.  So here are some things that are happening:

1. I have started meditating every day and plan on making this number one in my routine.  To get started I used a 30-Day Meditation Challenge from Tuja Wellness.  Check it out and join me if you have never done meditation or if you are are a frequent meditator.

2. I am back on keeping track of my food intake as of tomorrow.  I have realized over the past few months that this really helps me stay on track and eat less junky foods.  (I mean who wants to admit that you ate McDonalds french fries let alone have to record the calories?!)  I'd like to get back to my pre-summer 2013 weight when I was feeling fantastic!

3.  I need to kick my butt back in gear and exercise on a daily basis.  I'm happier when I'm exercising and also in better shape!  So why do I stop?  I guess the answer is that I'm human.  Tomorrow I am starting Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred.  I will post another little post devoted just to this!

4.  I'm going to start doing something artistic for myself every day even if its only 10-20 minutes.

5.  SLEEP!  My goal is to get 8 hours minimum of sleep every day.  This is tricky on nights that I have to be up at 4am, as my son goes to sleep at 8 and that's when I'd need to be in bed.  This is why I'm including a 1-hour nap with my man :)

6.  Drink more WATER!

So here is the routine I am attempting as of tomorrow:

Tuesday-Thursday mornings: 4am wake up for work.  Drink a Big glass of water.  Small healthy breakfast.

Friday-Monday mornings: 5am wake up.  Drink a Big glass of water.  10-20 minute meditation.  Small healthy breakfast.  30 minute workout.  20-30 minutes of artistic time for me!  Prep breakfast for my little monkey and get a bit of tidying done.

Monday Nights:  9pm Bedtime.

Tuesday & Wednesday Nights: 30-minute workout.  10 minute meditation.  9pm Bedtime.

Thursday Nights:  30-minute workout.  10 minute meditation.  10pm Bedtime.

Friday-Sunday Nights:  10pm Bedtime.

Obviously life gets in the way sometimes, as I want to be able to go out at night once and a while, but this is the outline for me.  I work better on a routine.

Here's to a happier and healthier life :)

What's a routine that works for you?

Consequences and Eye-Openers

Being away from my home, and normal routine for two and a half weeks never felt so difficult.  This was the first big trip I did solo with my little monkey who is 22 months...almost 23.  We did a whirl-wind trip: driving to Spokane, flying to Chicago, driving to Normal, driving to Cleveland, then down to Columbus, and back up to Cleveland, driving back to Chicago, flying to Spokane and finally driving back home.  I have never been too great at eating well on vacations, but on this trip my healthful eating went right out the window.  I haven't gotten on a scale, but I'm guessing I gained about 7 lbs, because I still fit into my pants, but my belt buckle is on the next notch over (since I wrote this I weighed in at 129.6 which was a 6lb gain).  It's the first time in a while I felt like I was emotionally eating.  Not all of it was emotional, some was just because the junk was staring me right in the face and I wanted to eat it.  The emotional eating came because I had about 2 hours of ME TIME in total over the entire trip.  That, paired with lack of sleep (shared a bed with my guy and did not get a full night's sleep the entire trip) and little to no exercise, and you get the vicious cycle.  I haven't looked forward to coming home from a trip this much in a long time.  Excited to get my little man back on a routine, and get us eating properly again.

I am more motivated than ever to really change my eating habits.  I have started the weening process with Kai, and know that my calorie intake will need to be a little lower than it has been to keep my weight where it is.  I do really well counting calories, but what I don't do well is staying away from junk.  I am ready to get my little family eating well!  I am going to try to eat as clean as possible, and up my vegetable intake substantially.  I just signed up for Endless Harvest and get my first produce box today!  I'm just trying it out to see if it's the kind of thing that will work for us.  Looking forward to getting a delivery of fresh organic fruits and veggies right to my front door!

My little guy LOVES green smoothies!  SMOOTHIE STASH!

On top of getting my eating under control, I have to get in shape and ready for a dance project that I will be a part of at the end of September.  This means more cardio, daily stretching and lots of studio time.  Starting Monday I'll be in the studio 2hours, 3 times per week.  And to add to that I am looking into starting some Jillian Michaels workouts to keep me going here at home.  

Here's to a productive August and September!!

Summer Challenge!

So I'll be honest...I didn't do too great with the June challenge.  I have excuses up the ying yang...but really it boils down to me being lazy.

My new challenge has come about for 2 reasons: 1) I am involved in a dance project that will be showing at the end of September, and need to work on my flexibility. 2) I need something quick and with no equipment because I am traveling quite a lot this summer.

So, without further ado, this summer (both July AND August) is a YOGA CHALLENGE!  This challenge is also great because you can do it anywhere!  Do it outside in the beautiful weather, or in the comfort of your living room on a rainy day.

This challenge consists of a morning and night-time routine.

 Here is our evening routine:

 Each sequence consists of  8 moves.  Hold each pose for 30 seconds and repeat sequence twice through so as to stretch both sides evenly (If you prefer you can do both sides of each pose one after the other...there are 3 poses in the morning and 2 at night which do not favour a side so repeat those poses twice).  Each week you can extend your pose time by 5 seconds as you gain more flexibility.

I hope this challenges you in more ways than one.  It's time to centre yourself and really become aware of your body as well as improving your flexibility an posture.

I loved my Bikram Yoga when I had it readily available to me in Chicago...

Have an amazing summer!