~Think~

After carefully writing my blog post last night, I somehow accidentally deleted it this morning and can't figure out a way to get it back :( So here is my attempt at re-creating that post.

After a coffee date with a girlfriend with my little monkey running around and her little one smiling away at me, I thought about how human I really am.  Throughout the day I was pummelled with these phrases:

I am the type of person who has a lot of great ideas, but often have a hard time following through especially when it comes to making healthier changes in my lifestyle.  I am full of excuses, but really when it comes down to it, it's out of pure laziness.  Ok, maybe some of it is fear of succeeding or disbelief that I can actually succeed.  More often than not, if I am not 100% confident in my success, I fall over and over again.  Even if there is only a measly 1% of doubt in there.  Why is this?  Oh right!  It's because I'm human!  I really wish it wasn't so difficult to aline my thoughts with my actions.  I am raising a beautiful little boy and I want to be the best example I can for him in living a healthful lifestyle in all aspects of my life.  

This post is not just about eating, or exercise…it's about everything we do on a daily basis.  I myself strive to be this "ideal" person I have in my head, living a healthful and active life.  But I get caught up in all these rules I set out for myself.  How do we change this mind set?  First of all let's remember that we are all human.  We are not perfect and we will screw up from time to time.  Second, don't let the notion of humanity be an excuse for not trying!  Use those trip-ups to make a better life!  Third…let's throw out the rule book ok?!  Stop having so many rules about everything.  

Here is the only rule worth keeping:

How about we start thinking before we speak or do, thinking about what we are putting into our bodies, thinking about how our bodies move and what our bodies can and will do, thinking about the images and sounds we are allowing into our minds.  Let's just think.  No more complicated plans to change our lives for the better.  Think about our actions and their consequences.  It's important to be honest and careful with the things we tell our children and ourselves.  

Today I am telling you all that I am throwing out my rule book, and I am starting to think more.  Before everything I do or say.  I am also going to tell you that I am human and I WILL mess up.  I am going to try my hardest to remember to get up when I fall and just think.  Thinking…sounds easy, but it's harder than you think!

Dating Mama

So this seems to be the subject that interests people the most.  Yes, my financial post was interesting and inspiring ;) but what everyone really wants to hear about is how to date as a single mom.

When I first starting writing this post, I wanted to share my story, but reading over it, realized that it was long and boring, and really what I want to share about dating as a single mom has little to do with my history.  The only thing that's really relevant is that growing up I always wanted that fairy-tale ending.

I've always had preconceived ideas about relationships, and even knowing that the fairytale ending wasn't reality, I still wanted to get married, and have another baby.  Recently I've realized that having those expectations are difficult on a new relationship. Dating as a single mom is hard enough already without adding preconceived expectations.  

Since becoming a single mama I have dated a few people, all with very different experiences.  Until recently dating for me was always about reaching a goal at the end: Getting married and having (more) kids.  Lately I've been seeing that looking too far into the future can sometimes be damaging on an otherwise happy, healthy and fulfilling relationship.  When I became a single mom I slowly started to challenge everything I ever thought about life and love.  I never pictured myself as a single mom (although I always wanted a baby with or without someone else).  I always pictured myself marrying young and staying home with the kids.  Life has a funny way of challenging us hey? 

So what exactly am I talking about?  I'm wondering how many of you let your expectations get in the way of your own happiness in the moment.  I know 100% that this is what I was doing for a very long time.  Always thinking about the future and finding it hard to be content in the here and now.  Of course we are all human, and thinking about the future does cross my mind from time to time, but thinking about right now gives me so much more freedom to enjoy it!  I've been seeing single dad R for a few months now, and couldn't imagine being happier in the moment.  We never take for granted the time that we get to spend together and rarely talk about anything too far in the future.  The farthest we get is the next time we will see each other.  Dating R I realized that I am happy right now and don't NEED anything like marriage or more kids.  I just want HIM…NOW!  How's that for honesty?

Financial Mama

Today is the first time in…hmmm…a long time that I have taken time for an "Artist Date".  I was a little nervous about spending time on my own, but then I remembered how much I crave creative time.  As I sit at this lively little coffee shop, I am able to freely write without interruption! It feels incredible to be able to write during the day when I'm not exhausted!   People are buzzing over their coffee, soaking in the short sun bursts and visiting with friends.  I love people watching! 

For some of you, reading a blog post about money seems boring, or even annoying, but if you are at all interested this post may inspire you :)

In the fall of 2010 I moved from the big city life of Chicago to the small mountain town life of the West Kootenays.  Not only was I homesick for the mountains, but was nearly drowning from debt in the city.  Most of this was my fault: I love eating out and working at a restaurant the last thing I wanted to do when I got home was cook for myself.  Eating out was just easier.  I also had an unconscious need for an "ideal" apartment…not too big, not too small, good neighbourhood etc.  I was living beyond my means.  Racking up credit card debt and even borrowing money from my parents.  Near the end of my time in Chicago I moved from a studio apartment into a one bedroom that was way out of my price range.  I had signed the lease thinking I was moving in with my boyfriend, but alas things change so quickly.  My parents were able to help me with rent for the few months I stayed until I decided it was about time I moved home.  They offered me their basement to help me get back on my feet and I was uber grateful.

When I moved back, I gave up my credit cards.  No more spending money I didn't have.  A few months later after finding out I was pregnant, I looked into consolidating my debt in order to pay less interest.  I looked into the interest I was paying on my student line of credit, and it was fairly low, so I only asked for a personal loan to cover my credit card debt.  This was a HUGE step in my financial journey.  I knew that having a baby on my own was going to be hard enough without paying almost $900 a month towards my debt.  With the consolidation I got my monthly payments down to about $500 over 6 years.  

I've always been good at writing out budgets.  I've made dozens of them over the years.  The problem was I never knew how to really live out my budget.  I was always guessing my income, and drawing up a hypothetical budget based on those estimations.  Over the past year or so it's become very important to me to become more independent and get a place of my own.  My parents are the most supportive and loving people I could ever ask for, and at the end of the day I love them.  Lately I have been feeling like I am taking advantage of them, and really want to know what it would be like to be on my own with my son.  

In December I was at a play date with a couple other moms, and we were talking about money and all those wonderful things parents talk about.  One of the women J mentioned this program called "You Need A Budget", and said that although they had just recently started the budgeting system, it had already had a HUGE impact on their life.  I was inspired, and went home to check it out.  When I looked into it I saw that it cost $60, which, as someone with not a whole lot of income is kind of a big deal.  I was worried about wasting my money on something I wouldn't follow through with.  This is where my true colours come out.  I guess I didn't really believe I could do it.  Instead I made a new years resolution to keep track of my spending.  The first 2 weeks of January was great!  I had a journal I entered all my receipts into and was feeling pretty proud of myself.  Nearing the end of the month I noticed receipts started piling up in my wallet, and once that happened I got overwhelmed and decided to give up.  Who was I kidding?  This wasn't for me!  

Last month I was talking with my lover R about budgeting and how much I wanted to be in a place to live on my own.  He was hesitant at first, but offered to tell me his story.  It was inspiring to say the least.  And guess what program he used to get out of debt?  You guessed it!  "You Need A Budget"!  Now I have 2 people in my life that have had success stories because of this system, so…I went home and bought it.  Yep, just like that.  The funny thing, was that when I told R he surprised me by saying he had just bought me a gift certificate for the software!  What a fabulous gift!  YNAB issued me a refund and I was on my way.  I was so excited!

The way that YNAB works, you input all the money you have to start with, and you assign every cent a job.  This program is designed to work with your real life income and spending.  So when I started, it was mid-way through the month.  I entered my starting checking account balance and starting plunking in numbers.  I was under the impression that budgeting would make me feel like I had less money.  I was pleasantly surprised to find that I actually felt like I had MORE money!  Somehow I found an extra $500 to put down on my student loan…ON MY FIRST MONTH OF BUDGETING!  YNAB has this nifty app for your iPhone or Android so that each time you go to spend something, you can check that category to see if you have money to spend, and then once anything is purchased you just pop it right in your phone.  This is great for me.  No need to keep receipts anymore!

For those of you who don't know me personally, I work at a coffee shop, 4 days a week.  I don't make a lot.  I do have extra income once and a while from teaching Musical Theatre and Dance, but for the most part, my income is low.  I am well under the poverty line.  So being able to spare $500 was a BIG deal, and something I did NOT think was possible.  

R recommended reading some material from Dave Ramsey, and what a difference that made.  You can have a budget, but if you don't have an action plan to pay off your debt, you won't get very far.  Dave Ramsey has 7 Simple Steps:

Step 1: Save $1000 for your Emergency Fund

Step 2: Pay off Debt (This is the hardest and most time consuming step)

Step 3: 3-6 month fund (save 3-6 months worth of income and put it away for safe keeping--you never know when you may be out of work)

Step 4: Invest (I'm working on learning about this)

Step 5: College (Start putting money away for your child(ren)'s education)--I've already started this step

Step 6: Pay off House (buy a house!)

Step 7: GIVE

These 7 steps potentially will get anyone to a place of financial freedom.  I'm not looking to be rich, I'm just looking to feel comfortable about where I am financially.  No debt, able to do the things I want, but still living frugally.  Last week I sat down to crunch some numbers.  Its only an estimation, as I don't know how to correctly calculate the amount of interest I pay on my student line of credit, BUT if I continue to find at least $300 extra a month to put towards my debt, I will be completely debt free in 17 months!  This is an incredible feeling.  Having an action plan is key.  

Dave Ramsey has a concept he calls the Debt Snowball.  Basically you work to pay off your smallest debt first, making only the minimum payment on your larger debts, and putting any extra money available on the smallest one.  Once your smallest debt is paid off, all the money you were putting onto that one will be added onto your next smallest debt, and so on and so forth.  It's a fascinating concept, and it actually works!  Here's my action plan (Numbers are not exact, but this is my example):

I have 2 debts (which really when you think about it is not nearly as bad as it could be): my Student Line of Credit, and my Personal Loan.  Every month I pay $275 on my SLC and $235 on my PL.  If I pay an extra $300 every month on my SLC it will be paid off in 11 months instead of the estimated 2-3 years.  After my SLC is paid off, that $575 will be added onto my PL making my monthly payment about $810.  This is when I will really feel the snowball affect.  My PL will then be payed off in just 6 months after that!  Holy CRAP!  After I am debt free, I am able to start putting that $810 a month away for my 3-6 month fund and a move-out fund.  Now, instead of moving out in 3 years and just barely making it by, I'll be able to move out and be financially secure!  How awesome is that?

Not only does this stuff now get me excited, but it's something I want to share with everyone and anyone who is seeking financial freedom.  In order to truly be successful, you need to be completely ready for this huge change.  But if you are…it's one of the best things you can do for yourself!  

Thanks so much to J and R for helping me on my journey towards financial freedom!  WOO HOO!

30-Day Shred Starts Tomorrow!

Tomorrow I start my new routine and that includes exercising every day.  I have decided to do Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred to get me started!  Here's a guide for what to do when that I got from here.

So as you can see there are 3 different levels of the workout, but there is only Level One available on YouTube.  If you want the extra challenge she has some DVD's available off her website.

Let me know if you are joining so we can support eachother!

New Beginnings

I am horrified and appalled that I have not written anything since August.  Things are about to change!  I am challenging myself to start a healthful routine to give my son and me the best life possible.  Taking it one day at a time, living in the moment, but also establishing routine.  So here are some things that are happening:

1. I have started meditating every day and plan on making this number one in my routine.  To get started I used a 30-Day Meditation Challenge from Tuja Wellness.  Check it out and join me if you have never done meditation or if you are are a frequent meditator.

2. I am back on keeping track of my food intake as of tomorrow.  I have realized over the past few months that this really helps me stay on track and eat less junky foods.  (I mean who wants to admit that you ate McDonalds french fries let alone have to record the calories?!)  I'd like to get back to my pre-summer 2013 weight when I was feeling fantastic!

3.  I need to kick my butt back in gear and exercise on a daily basis.  I'm happier when I'm exercising and also in better shape!  So why do I stop?  I guess the answer is that I'm human.  Tomorrow I am starting Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred.  I will post another little post devoted just to this!

4.  I'm going to start doing something artistic for myself every day even if its only 10-20 minutes.

5.  SLEEP!  My goal is to get 8 hours minimum of sleep every day.  This is tricky on nights that I have to be up at 4am, as my son goes to sleep at 8 and that's when I'd need to be in bed.  This is why I'm including a 1-hour nap with my man :)

6.  Drink more WATER!

So here is the routine I am attempting as of tomorrow:

Tuesday-Thursday mornings: 4am wake up for work.  Drink a Big glass of water.  Small healthy breakfast.

Friday-Monday mornings: 5am wake up.  Drink a Big glass of water.  10-20 minute meditation.  Small healthy breakfast.  30 minute workout.  20-30 minutes of artistic time for me!  Prep breakfast for my little monkey and get a bit of tidying done.

Monday Nights:  9pm Bedtime.

Tuesday & Wednesday Nights: 30-minute workout.  10 minute meditation.  9pm Bedtime.

Thursday Nights:  30-minute workout.  10 minute meditation.  10pm Bedtime.

Friday-Sunday Nights:  10pm Bedtime.

Obviously life gets in the way sometimes, as I want to be able to go out at night once and a while, but this is the outline for me.  I work better on a routine.

Here's to a happier and healthier life :)

What's a routine that works for you?

Consequences and Eye-Openers

Being away from my home, and normal routine for two and a half weeks never felt so difficult.  This was the first big trip I did solo with my little monkey who is 22 months...almost 23.  We did a whirl-wind trip: driving to Spokane, flying to Chicago, driving to Normal, driving to Cleveland, then down to Columbus, and back up to Cleveland, driving back to Chicago, flying to Spokane and finally driving back home.  I have never been too great at eating well on vacations, but on this trip my healthful eating went right out the window.  I haven't gotten on a scale, but I'm guessing I gained about 7 lbs, because I still fit into my pants, but my belt buckle is on the next notch over (since I wrote this I weighed in at 129.6 which was a 6lb gain).  It's the first time in a while I felt like I was emotionally eating.  Not all of it was emotional, some was just because the junk was staring me right in the face and I wanted to eat it.  The emotional eating came because I had about 2 hours of ME TIME in total over the entire trip.  That, paired with lack of sleep (shared a bed with my guy and did not get a full night's sleep the entire trip) and little to no exercise, and you get the vicious cycle.  I haven't looked forward to coming home from a trip this much in a long time.  Excited to get my little man back on a routine, and get us eating properly again.

I am more motivated than ever to really change my eating habits.  I have started the weening process with Kai, and know that my calorie intake will need to be a little lower than it has been to keep my weight where it is.  I do really well counting calories, but what I don't do well is staying away from junk.  I am ready to get my little family eating well!  I am going to try to eat as clean as possible, and up my vegetable intake substantially.  I just signed up for Endless Harvest and get my first produce box today!  I'm just trying it out to see if it's the kind of thing that will work for us.  Looking forward to getting a delivery of fresh organic fruits and veggies right to my front door!

My little guy LOVES green smoothies!  SMOOTHIE STASH!

On top of getting my eating under control, I have to get in shape and ready for a dance project that I will be a part of at the end of September.  This means more cardio, daily stretching and lots of studio time.  Starting Monday I'll be in the studio 2hours, 3 times per week.  And to add to that I am looking into starting some Jillian Michaels workouts to keep me going here at home.  

Here's to a productive August and September!!

Summer Challenge!

So I'll be honest...I didn't do too great with the June challenge.  I have excuses up the ying yang...but really it boils down to me being lazy.

My new challenge has come about for 2 reasons: 1) I am involved in a dance project that will be showing at the end of September, and need to work on my flexibility. 2) I need something quick and with no equipment because I am traveling quite a lot this summer.

So, without further ado, this summer (both July AND August) is a YOGA CHALLENGE!  This challenge is also great because you can do it anywhere!  Do it outside in the beautiful weather, or in the comfort of your living room on a rainy day.

This challenge consists of a morning and night-time routine.

 Here is our evening routine:

 Each sequence consists of  8 moves.  Hold each pose for 30 seconds and repeat sequence twice through so as to stretch both sides evenly (If you prefer you can do both sides of each pose one after the other...there are 3 poses in the morning and 2 at night which do not favour a side so repeat those poses twice).  Each week you can extend your pose time by 5 seconds as you gain more flexibility.

I hope this challenges you in more ways than one.  It's time to centre yourself and really become aware of your body as well as improving your flexibility an posture.

I loved my Bikram Yoga when I had it readily available to me in Chicago...

Have an amazing summer!

It's that time again!

Alright!  I have SIMPLY LOVED our SIMPLY MOVE CHALLENGE!  This month has done wonders for me :)  Looking forward to taking some progress pics and measurements on Saturday!

Saturday starts off the month of June, and that means it's time for a new challenge!

Here's what I've come up with:

We will start off with this awesome 30-day AB Challenge that I've seen floating around the web for months now...
In addition to that, every we have a 5-day challenge to complete :)  It's June, so it's time to get our bodies bathing suit ready!
Lastly, since I LOVED May's challenge so much, we will be continuing 'simply move' every Saturday of the month :)

Here's what our challenge schedule will look like:

1: simply move 31/abs challenge
2: abs challenge
3: abs challenge/The DailyHiit Beginner Challenge! Day 1
4: DailyHiit Day 2
5: abs challenge/DailyHiit Day 3
6: abs challenge/DailyHiit Day 4
7: abs challenge/DailyHiit Day 5
8: simply move 32
9: abs challenge
10: abs challenge/Bikini Blaster Series from blogilates! Bikini Blaster 1
11: abs challenge/ Bikini Blaster 2
12: Bikini Blaster 3
13: abs challenge/Bikini Blaster 4
14: abs challenge/Bikini Blaster 5
15: abs challenge/simply move 33
16: REST
17: abs challenge/ TBA Day 1
18: abs challenge/ TBA Day 2
19: abs challenge/ TBA Day 3
20: TBA Day 4
21: abs challenge/ TBA Day 5
22: abs challenge/simply move 34
23: abs challenge
24: TBA Day 1
25: abs challenge/ TBA Day 2
26: abs challenge/ TBA Day 3
27: abs challenge/ TBA Day 4
28: TBA Day 5
29: abs challenge/simply move 35
30: abs challenge
   
Looks like it's going to be a fun month!  As you can see, there happens to only be one FULL rest day...but we can do this y'all!  I'll update this post with the challenges for week 3&4...just wanted you all to see the general set up of the month :)

Hope you all join me!
xoxo

GET READY!

It's almost time for the MAY CHALLENGE!  

After the past few challenges I have decided that I need something to keep my body moving and inspired.  I found that I was getting bored doing the same moves all the time, so this challenge will keep you on your toes!

I am super stoked to announce that we will be doing a "simply move" challenge!  As I mentioned in my previous post, my good friend Sarah has been a huge inspiration for me.  A little over a year ago she filmed her first workout to help out a friend who thought there was no way they could do a BodyRock workout (now Hiit).  I was one of the lucky people Sarah emailed the video to, because she knew that I was wanting to get fit too.  I will admit I would get motivated for about a week, and work out every day, and then I'd lose my way.  But through all of that, I still followed the progress of my friend, and watched as she transformed!  She started her own website  called lovesimply, and it is filled with all sorts of goodies for the mind, body and soul!  Just recently she decided to keep her workout titles simple, and thus I decided May would be the "simply move" challenge!  

So starting on Wednesday we will be following Sarah's online workouts.  All of the workout links are posted below!  I am a big fan of having one rest day a week, so I've decided to double up workouts on Saturdays, and take a rest on Sundays.  This way we get all of the 31 simply moves done by the end of the month!  If you'd rather, you may also opt to skip the rest day and keep every day at a single workout :)  My advice would be to watch the video the night before so you are prepped for the following day.  I also encourage you to read the little blurb about the workout before you watch it. Her workouts are straight forward and can be modified to suit whatever level you are at.  I love that they are "real time" workouts so you can follow a long and don't have to worry about timing or counting :)  I will be posting each video (as well as comments/notes/advice) the night before on my facebook page as well, so you don't always have to refer back to this post. 

The workouts range from 10-15 minutes...so NO EXCUSES!  You can find time in your day for that!

Happy May!

May 1: Simply Move 1
May 2: Simply Move 2
May 3: Simply Move 3
May 4: Simply Move 4 & 5
May 5: REST
May 6: Simply Move 6
May 7: Simply Move 7
May 8: Simply Move 8
May 9: Simply Move 9
May 10: Simply Move 10
May 11: Simply Move 11 & 12
May 12: REST
May 13: Simply Move 13
May 14: Simply Move 14
May 15: Simply Move 15
May 16: Simply Move 16
May 17: Simply Move 17
May 18: Simply Move 18 & 19
May 19: REST
May 20: Simply Move 20
May 21: Simply Move 21
May 22: Simply Move 22
May 23: Simply Move 23
May 24: Simply Move 24
May 25: Simply Move 25 & 26
May 26: REST
May 27: Simply Move 27
May 28: Simply Move 28
May 29: Simply Move 29
May 30: Simply Move 30
May 31: Simply Move 31

Inspiration and Motivation

I have been super inspired and motivated lately by all my awesome friends!  My good friend Sarah D. has been a big part of it!  If you haven't checked her out, you totally should!  She has lost 60lbs over the past 2 years, and is the reason I discovered the 12 minute workout!  She introduced me to BodyRock and I was immediately intrigued.  I sort of wavered in and out of motivation to work out, but still followed my friend as she transformed.  In December, I saw a Squat Challenge posted on this page and thought I'd give it a whirl!  I LOVED having a monthly challenge, especially when I knew other people were doing it at the same time!  So, in January I continued and have now been starting to create my own monthly challenges.  I have already seen a huge change in musculature since December, and am looking forward to a much firmer body over the next year or so.  

On the left is a picture of me before I started doing much exercise wise, but after I reached my goal weight (from watching what I ate).  Now I want to stay the same pound wise, but turn that fat into muscle!

On the right is a picture I took just last week, and my arms are already looking more toned!  Excited to see where I can go!  I will post monthly pics in the above swim suit so you can track my progress with me!  As most of us know, accountability really does help!  Hope you guys can work right along side me!  Let's have some fun yeah?!

WHO SAYS YOU CAN'T BE AT YOUR BEST SHAPE EVER POST-BABY?!

May 2010 Pre-Baby.....October 2012 Post-Baby

Sometimes It's Hard

I am going to apologize in advance if this post is a downer.  If anyone thinks that things are happy-go-lucky 100% of the time, well they must be living in an alternate reality.

For a while now, I've been in a funk.  There are probably numerous factors that have contributed to this feeling, but lately I've had a hard time functioning normally.  I go to work, go through the motions, don't seem particularly down once I'm out and about, but I have a really hard time leaving the house.  I'm lathargic and just feel like sleeping all day.  2013 has been pretty yucky so far.  I haven't eaten so much crap in a long while, and i'm sure that hasn't helped the sittuation.  Thankfully, I am head over heels in love with my adorable 16-month old son.  He is what gets me through the day.

I am a single mom.  I chose to be this.  I struggle daily with feeling I'm not good enough, because I'm not the mom I thought I would be.  I have realized that I had expectations of the way I would live my life with my baby, but didn't think to take into account that not every baby has the same temperment or personality to do things the way you want.  Life revolves around your little one, especially if you do not have an easy-going child.  I wanted to be the mom that took her baby everywhere and did things similarly to before I became a mama.  I was well aware that things would change, and that I couldn't do everything that I did as a single woman, but I was not prepared fora baby that was go go go!  Kai was never one for sitting quietly and playing.  Even from a very young age, he liked to be moving around, and would get bored and want to move on to something new quite frequently.  This makes every-day-life very hectic and tiring.  Going out for a meal is usually challenging, unless it's just me and/or my parents, when there are no expectations of how things should go.  I was being pretty good about getting out for hikes and walks, but I always had to time it right with naps, etc. and sometimes I'm just too tired to even figure it out.

I'm in a weird sittuation.  All of my friends are either co-parents, married, or single.  I have no single parent friends, and that has become difficult.  This is another thing that I had no idea I would have to navigate my way through.  Going to events where no one has kids, or everyone has kids, but also have partners.  It's just kind of sad and depressing.  I have said no to a lot of invites over the past year and a half, and because of it, feel that I don't tend to get invited to many things anymore (rightly so), and I don't know how to change that.

I am struggling hard core with balancing working 2 jobs, spending time with Kai, and having any sort of social life.  It's hard not to feel guilty asking my parents (or anyone) to babysit after being away from Kai 3 days a week already, just so I can go hang out with some friends.

Up until about a month ago, I was co-sleeping, and loved it for the most part.  Then I finally became tired enough that I needed my own space.  Malakai had been waking more frequently at night, and the negatives had begun to out-weigh the positives of keeping him in bed with me.  I can say that I now get a decent night's sleep, but find myself more tired than ever, which was one of the first clues that something was seriously wrong.

I really dislike that I am writing this...because the more I think about things in a negative way, the more I think "I shouldn't be thinking this way!  I am so blessed and lucky to have all that I do!  My problems are barely a grain of sand compared to what other people are going through," and that my friends just magnifies the sadness.. Ugh.  Call it the Mama blues, or the pre-30's blues, or whatever you want, but lately I just can't seem to find happiness anywhere except my son's smile.  I just want to make sure that my son is happy, and that he has a happy mama!

Getting Back to Basics

This Thanksgiving I was able to attend service at my home church in Fruitvale, and hear an amazing message.  He brought to light everything that I have known, but needed to hear one more time I guess.  Did you know that we (the world) produce enough food to feed everyone on earth, and clothing to put on every single person's back?  We just have a distribution problem.  What an interesting way to look at it.  How do we solve this distribution problem?  I have no clue, but I for one would like to take small steps in my own life to live as simply as I can, so I can hopefully do my part.  

I am making the commitment to no longer buy new clothing, toys, furniture etc.  I am going to give only hand made, used or recycled gifts, and hope that maybe I can inspire others to do the same.  Each gift I give will include a tag that tells the receiver a little bit about the gift and why I choose to give hand made or recycled things.  There are more than enough items in used stores and online to meet my needs (as well as yours).  It might even make me re-think buying things such as toothpaste and deodorant...why not make them myself? 

Sometimes I forget that I am living a rich life.  I don't realize that my life isn't among the average in the world.  In North America we are privileged.  I don't know that I like that word.  Privileged.  Lucky.  I like that better.  

The other day my friend posted on facebook:  

"Me: Oh man. All of my friends on Pinterest are getting married right now.  

Ben (her boyfriend): First world problems."

  

What small thing can you change in your day-to-day life?

Big One Year Old!

So my little man turned ONE last Sunday, and let me say that his party was a huge success!  

Malakai sure is blessed!  

He got all sorts of clothes, toys and books, amazing hand-crafted gifts and even some cold hard cash that will be put away in his very own bank account!  So many dear friends were able to come celebrate with us, and the park was the perfect venue!  The weather couldn't have been better!  We had healthful treats of fruits and veggies, rice crackers, corn chips, hummus and home made spinach dip.  

I made Kai one-year-old friendly cupcakes that were DELICIOUS if I do say so myself!  Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana...YUM!  Grain-Free, Dairy-Free and the only sugar to be found was in the dark chocolate!

My amazing boss from The Alpine Grind donated some amazing Oso Negro coffee and everyone loved it!  It was so awesome to see all the babies, toddlers and kids crawling, running, and tumbling around the park.  Thanks so much to everyone who came to help celebrate his big day!

Boobless

Well, Kai has officially weaned at night. I was sort of hoping for a grand finale of sleeping through the night, even though I knew that was pretty unrealistic. Even though Malakai went the whole night without breast feeding last night he was still up a few times. Hopefully he will learn over the next few days that it is a lot easier to just sleep...

This concludes my 7 days of sleep posts. Stay tuned for updates on how he's doing. Next post will be a birthday post for my big one year old boy! I can't help but remember how I was feeling at this very moment last year!

Tonight's The Night!

Yesterday, after being so confused as to why Kai had been up from 3-5 that morning, I was feeding him, stick my finger in my mouth, and discovered another tooth! That was a shock, because usually his teeth take super long to come in, and there is no surprise when they do! I feel bad now, that I didn't console him as much as a could have (trying to stick with the sleep learning). Kai seems to have recovered though!

He had a wonderful two and a half hour nap in the morning, an another 45minutes that afternoon (I had to wake him from this one because it was so close to bedtime).

Last night Malakai brilliantly slept through his old 8:45 feeding, and I fed him for a very short 2 minutes when I went to bed at 10:30. He stirred a bit at some point, and then woke at 3:26am signing for more milk. He quickly settled on his own and fell back to sleep. I fed him again for that ridiculous 2 minutes, but he seemed satisfied, and went right back to sleep for another two hours!

I think that tonight will go well, even if he wakes up once or twice. Can't believe how quickly he has changed!

Bump In The Road

Last night bedtime went perfectly along with the first 2 feeds. He woke up at midnight (scheduled feed at 12:35), but fell back to sleep without tears at 12:30 and I woke him around 12:50 to feed for 2 minutes. It was the first night that I had eliminated the 2:30 feed, and of course he woke up at 3am and whined and jumped around for an hour. Then he proceeded to cry for another hour before he went to sleep. He was supposed to feed at 4am, but he wailed right through that, and didn't fall asleep until 5:10. I woke him 15 minutes later and fed him for 4 minutes. Thankful he slept until 7:40 so that I'm not a complete grouch!

I'm always so surprised at how quickly babies forgive and forget. He woke up all smiles! I hope that last night doesn't set the bar for tonight. I'm supposed to be going from 4 feeds to only 2. Crossing my fingers that we both get some well deserved sleep tonight!

Progress...

For those interested, here you can see our exact progress! Listed are our [goals] as well as how we actually did!

First night: Saturday Sept 8
[7:30 Bedtime]
Layed him in bed at 7:17pm, moved around a lot,climbed on me, whined a bit, at 7:40 he started to cry and by 7:47 he was asleep, and not on top of me!
[8:45pm feed 10 min]
[10:15 feed 12 min]
Woke at 9:53 an cried bloody murder until 11:27. Nursed at 11:43 for 10 min.
[12:35feed 14 min]
1:06 8 min
[2:30 feed 8 min]
Cried briefly being put back to sleep. (less than a minute)
[4:00 feed 12 min]
[6:30 Wake time]
Woke at 6:15

Night 2: Sunday Sept 9
[7:30 Bedtime]
In bed at 7:45, asleep by 7:46, though sprawled on top of me!
[8:45 feed 8 min]
Alarm didn't sound :( Kai woke at 9:12, went back about 9:20, fed at 9:32 for 8 minutes.
[10:15 feed 10 min]
Alarm is dumb! (11:00) fed 10
[12:35 feed 8 min]
Alarm is dumb! 1:00 fed 8min
[2:30 feed 6 min]
2:42 fed 6 min
[4:00 feed 10 min]
[6:30 Wake time]
6:00 wake time, out of bed 6:20

Night 3: Monday Sept 10
[7:30 Bedtime]
[8:45 feed 6 min]
[10:30 feed 8 min]
[12:35 feed 6 min]
[2:30 feed 4 min]
[4:00 feed 8 min]
[6:30Wake time] 6:00 wake time

Night 4: Tuesday Sept 11
[7:30 Bedtime]
[8:45 feed 4 min]
[10:15 feed 6 min]
[12:35 feed 4 min]
[2:30 feed 2 min]
[4:00 feed 6 min]
[6:30 Wake time]
5:15 wake time...stayed in bed until 6am.

Waking up Early

Well, nights are definitely progressing as they should! Tonight will be the first 4 feed night (down from 5)!

I mentioned yesterday thatj Kai has been waking up earlier, and I must have jinxed myself, because he woke up at 5:15 and wouldn't go back to sleep. I made him tough it out until 6, but man I needed that extra hour of sleep! Hopefully things change here as far as his wake time, otherwise I may need to consider moving bedtime a little later. It's said that on average babies his age sleep around 11 hours at night but my little man seems to like more like 10 or 10 1/2. He did wake up with a runny nose, so he may just be fighting a cold :(

Another day of work for me today...I sure miss my little guy in work days!

How Fast Babies Learn

I am in complete shock that little Malakai, the baby who used to only sleep 30 minutes at a time for a nap, only with me laying next to him, now takes between an hour and fifteen minutes to two hours for his nap without me by his side!  I can't believe he has changed so much in less than 4 days!  

Yesterday while I was at work Kai had an awesome day with Grammie and Pop Pop.  He had an hour and a half nap in the morning, and an hour and fifteen minute nap in the afternoon.  Let me just say here how much I LOVE when Kai first sees me after one of my work days.  It is nothing but PURE JOY!

Last night, we followed the same routine, and my sweetie went right to sleep with no problems.  My alarm worked perfectly (finally), and Kai only woke unscheduled twice.  He had a nightmare around 10pm, and I felt so bad!  But I just came in and put my hand on his tummy and he fell right back to sleep.

I have noticed that he has been getting up 30 minutes to an hour earlier than he had been but I'm sure that will change over the next couple weeks.  I'm not too worried about it.

Technical Difficulties

I have nothing but positive things to say so far about the weaning techniques I've learned from The Sleep Easy Solution. After Kai had a luxurious 2 hour morning nap, I put him down for his afternoon nap and he acted like what I always thought of a "normal" child going for a nap: He brought me a book to read, nursed and pulled off when he was finished, then I put him down in bed and snuggled in next to him. He babbled to himself, climbed over top of me, bounced around a little, and then went to sleep! No crying at all. He then managed to sleep an hour and fifteen minutes, which was wonderful! I've never had such a productive day!

Last night we were a few minutes late getting ready for bed, but it went as smoothly as ever. He was asleep within about 2 minutes of hitting the pillow, although he did whimper a little and turn himself so he had his head on my shoulder.

The rest of the night went really well, except for the fact that apparently I don't know how to work my alarm. Thankfully my inner alarm went off within a half out of whenever we were supposed to get up to feed. Malakai only woke up once on his own, and it was only because of my stupid alarm that didn't go off. This time instead of an hour and a half of screaming, he cried and whined for about 8 minutes and then fell right back I sleep.

HOORAY!

Today I'm at work for both his naps, but Grammie already had him falling asleep without a bottle, so no worries there!

Praying that he continues to progress and by the weekend will no longer be waking up at night!